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CHAPTER 2:- Encouragement and your child’s development.
In order to give more attention to good
behaviour:
- Give positive attention when your child is not expecting/demanding it.
- Reward good behaviour, attempts and effort with – listening/ touching/ cuddling/ playing/ smiling/ laughing/ singing.
- Relax and enjoy your children –
their childhood goes so fast! So take time out with your child – and **** the hoovering!
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All this can create a positive effect on you too.
CHAPTER 3:-
Listening means paying attention.
Be aware that…
- Good listening involves eyes, arms and body position as well as ears.
- It cannot be done all the time.
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Benefits include…
- Children who are shown respect and concern learn to respect themselves and become more confident – one day your child may be a husband/wife!.
- They will learn to articulate feelings rather than act them out.
- It helps with adults as well aswith children!
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CHAPTER 4:-
Talking with your child.
Negatives
- Often our tone of voice and content show a lack of respect.
- Reduce aggression and use a gentler tone (cut out (or cut down on) threats, blaming, shaming and name calling).
- Cut back on corrections, instructions, warnings – especially with over 1 year olds.
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Positives
- Make time to talk!
- Use “I” or “me” rather than “you…”.
- Explain / discuss your own feelings with your children. (Adults have feelings and needs too.).
- Children who live with intolerance learn to be intolerant. If they live with respect they learn to respect themselves and others.
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CHAPTER 5:- Discipline.
Remember...
- Children will often push to find out where limits are.
- Discipline is not forcing or coaxing them to do what we want but helping them to learn self discipline, partly from consequences of their own actions.
- The best discipline comes from making time for positive loving attention.
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Give them a choice, but be
a little flexible
- set rules that are realistic – and not too many of them
- consult children and make rules together
- give them a choice (both choices acceptable to you!)
- let them sort out their own disagreements themselves?
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A choice can diffuse
situations
- doesn’t end up in power struggles
- doesn’t humiliate the child
- leaves both adult and child with self-respect
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CHAPTER 6:- Quality time.
More precious than all the toys money can buy. Children grow up so quickly, and no one ever died wishing they’d spent more time in the office or doing housework!
Positive parenting is not so much what you do but how time is spent, with focused attention, patience, affection, listening and
talking.
But be gentle with yourself (too much dust can be depressing)
- change doesn’t happen overnight
- settle for being a less than perfect parent
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don’t forget your own life!
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